Love Tempers.

Today’s sermon by Preacher Tan Hock Sim on 1 Corinthians 8:1-13 touched on tempering knowledge with love. Knowledge and wisdom is useless without love. Especially with regards to equipping the spiritually weaker brothers and sisters-in-christ. There is a lot of wisdom on freedom, knowledge and how love tempers all that needs space and time to reflect on. I pray that my fellow brothers and sisters are reflecting on this message too.

Quite nervous and exciting for the upcoming exams. : ) All the best to our best! There are lots to update, but see you readers after the exams are over on 7th May for me.

“Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,” says the Lord Almighty.

-Zechariah 4:6

Trust and Tarry no more.

Revision has been fruitful thus far only for Singapore Society. But I shall continue to remember that it takes effort to turn disappointments into sacrifices. Recent happenings have also affected me in ways that are quite unexpected. I feel pain too in my own ways. But yet, am thankful of this consciousness that have developed which reminds me to turn back to God in supplication and thanksgiving.

A need to be broken down by God has suddenly become so urgent in view of recent developments. Trust and tarry no more.

Some recent events:

Everything I have is Yours.

Today has been supremely good day. It was a good time of recharging during our last cg of the semester, a good time of worshipping led by Nicole and me, followed by a treat by our fantastic CGL again in Nicole at Munchie Monkeys which sells delicious vanilla ice-cream and hot chocolate fudge cakes and chicken primevera spaghetti. Dawn, Lai Peng, Joy Clement and I were around. Nearly full attendance minus Michelle only. : ) Had a good time of sharings and writing blessings for each other. I feel absolutely loved, and I think they feel that too. My evil twin Joy revealed that when she first saw me, she was wondering who is this noisy guy and she thought she don’t want to be friends with me; but now she thanks God everytime for me. : ) Glad that among my heavy suaning, I must be doing something right during those times when I’m supposed to be serious at least. : )

Got something from GK too! It was this tagboard type of thing that was very sweetly done. My cg people were so curious about it! They thought it was from a “special one”. But I have to admit GK has been a blessing in many ways this year, and I’m really blessed to have seen more than others and be encouraged by the few people I really considered to be nearly there already, or at least on the right path – true women and men of God. So thanks GK for your friendship. : )

I saw Weiting today too. She finally passed me a card that she wrote for me the week before, which I didn’t get it because I wasn’t punctual enough. It was one of the most articulate, genuine and moving letters that I’ve received in my life. It has been long since somebody tells me I’ve been his or her answered prayer for a friend. And if you want me, of course I want you la! Lol! Jokes aside, I’m glad that the ways I’ve treated friendships have brought glory to the Lord, and I hope that I can continue to learn and grow with the friends, new and old around me.

Ended the day with a long talk with Yiwen in Becky’s room after CG. Saw my Totoro Card hanging above her desk! *grin. Was doing my tutorial as I waited for Yiwen, Sarah and Becky (who is the epitome of coolness with her guitar skills: potential suitors can either go brush up their guitar skills or demonstrate other talents. Becky is a smart girl too! So beware!) practicing for the worship session for Fellowship Teachings (FTs) tomorrow at Science. Becky went off to meet her friends at supersnacks while Sarah went back to her room with Becks. Had a long sharing with Yiwen about some issues that are close to my heart and hear her back in return. We talked for so long that Becky had enough time to come back and joined us for the latter part of our conversation. The 3 of us ended the conversations by quieting our hearts and prayed while I was touched to close for us. I got to learn again on a higher level what does it mean to share in weal and woe with my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.

I shall end with this verse that Joy wrote in my blessing card: “Enlarge the place of your tent, stretch your tent curtains wide, do not hold back; lengthen your cords, strengthen your stakes.” – Isaiah 54:2.

Consider Christ Week

Consider Christ week is a three day long outreach and educational programme in NUS organised by VCF to educate the students about the meaning of Easter, and its significance to Christians. I signed up for the “陪谈” so that I can talk to interested students after the week is over. Talked to Eunice and Esther (the twins) today! One more person to visit in Malaysia. They stay in Klang. : ) With the lack of internships knocking on my door for a year 1, it would be a good time of consolidation and spending time with dear friends, especially those coming back from all over the world that I could not do during semester time.

There was a skit titled “hands”, that briefly shared on what Christ meant to us.

Kumu shared a very interesting testimony. Didn’t know he was a first generation believer…

There was a mini-worship session before LT Jaya (a worker from Ravi Zacharias ministry) talked to us about Christianity. He said many interesting things that gave me more than my fair share of food for thought. This is on top of the sharing that Lawson and Pam (a missionary couple) gave when I was at FES with Rixin and Jasmine earlier in the day.

Adrian a graduate! Currently working at MCYS. He is closer to me that I am closer to him. Lol! : ) He is 3 generations in front of me as chair of IFG. Am thinking already how to involved future generations of IFG grads in the work that we are doing. Let the vision continue to fester!

My PGP neighbour Khoa, IFG people Noi and Jae came down for the programme. Were so glad that they stayed. I pray that God continue to open up their ears to listen and their hearts to accept the most wonderful gift on Earth.

Every cloud engenders not a storm.

I went back to my hide-out today. The last time I was there was with Disong and Jenny. There were strong memories with great pals that were spent there. And Grace got her induction into this hall of fame today.

There was this old man selling ice-cream and I bought two cones from him. We had a friendly chat on ‘addressing people’ before he suddenly said 我结婚到没有结婚. Aw… I hoped that I did not rake up any of his 伤心事 even though he laughed it off in the end. I guess every man on the street has his own story to tell. It is just that we don’t have time to listen, and perhaps we never will until we will ourselves not to look without seeing.

I had a good tuition session with my younger kid Brian today. He is really a pleasure to teach. Whenever I arrived for our session, he will immediately plonked down his Amaths questions in front of me and ask me to teach him. Sigh! I really want to stop tutoring at the end of this year. But I sort of grown quite fond of him already. 师母 also asked me to take good care of them. Brian will be transferring from his international school to a government school at the start of next year… So will see what transpires at the end of the year.

The previous session with the older brother, Abel, earlier in the week didn’t went off as well. We were talking about English and the importance of general knowledge and I was trying to convince that world news are indirectly important to him, so that he will read the newspapers and improve his grasp of the English language in progress.

So I asked him:

Me: After the examples that I’ve raised, don’t you think general knowledge and thus reading the newspapers are important to your growth?

Abel: I don’t think so. I don’t find them very relevant to me. They are beyond my scope.

Me: But you don’t you want to grow in knowledge and perspectives so that you can lead the house one day the way your father does?

Abel: I think I can do a better job than my dad right now. He places too much importance and time on his job.

Sigh. And I dropped the matter after that because that was not the direction that I expected the conversation to be progressing. It is a matter of not getting too involved because I am just a tutor, yet knowing that perhaps you can make a difference.

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Last CG of the semester was spent at West Coast Park. I’m going to miss going for the same tutorial as Florence! Being year4, she is supposed to be the ‘veteran’ guiding the ‘freshie’. Haha! She makes studying Vietnamese so much more fun and enjoyable. Regardless of the grade that I am going to get, I really got much out of this module, and I cannot wait to use it when I head off to Vietnam mid December. : )

The classic ’Flo look’. Brightens up anybody’s day when you see her laugh. *tremors in the classroom.

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Had my Vietnamese oral test together with Jeremy last week. We were partners and we spent hours at Sheares hall and PGP over 2 days perfecting our conversations. We managed to pick the one that we had painstakingly prepared. : )

My friendly neighbour, Trung. He studies as he eats and his mean grade of 4.45 is a good reflection of his dedication… Ah! He makes me look lazier than I actually am.

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Me & Danielle @ the Deck. She said that we have some form of sibling likeness… so I call her my いもとちゃん。Jiayou for your coming exams and especially the modules we are taking together!

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Shall end it off with this picture taken near my tutee’s house. Everyday can be beautiful with our Lord.

Reason and Persuasion.

What goes beyond reason does not go against reason. This is a point that I made on my philo tutorial blog which I’m supposed to elaborate on. For those people whom I have asked for their opinion on this statement, you may like to read on to see how I reply to this. : ) Below is the original comment and the elaboration comment. Happy Reading!

there comes a time when everyone must fly.

What makes the desert so beautiful said the little prince is that it hides a well somewhere. Every time I reread the little prince, it never fails to teach me something new about life.

Am doing my laundry now, and that gives me at least 2 hours to kill, and I brought my laptop down so that I can update this space for my buddies overseas.

I FINALLY managed to meet up with Gabriel Tan today at Central Forum, albeit informally. I received good news after his call in the morning. : ) Amir was there too and we had a wonderful threesome. No words can describe the atmosphere *grinz. *nice meeting you today. Waiting for our official meeting next week!

Exam preparations are getting more and more intense. The libraries are filled, the essays and assignments have almost been completed. Everyday has been about studying till the wee hours of the morning with my fellow neighbours. Tutorials have almost come to an end this week except for the language modules. There is no looking back. It is perhaps now or never.

I had my first ‘Allo Buddy’ sharing yesterday with Clement (yr4 social work) and Edward (yr3 political science). I think ‘functionalism’ and serving the world is something that affects us to a large extent. That said, I thought Edward painted a very good image of how  the ‘fake muggers’ actually work, and Clement’s sharing on how he saw God’s increasing glory in his grades. I think sharing releases a lot of tension, and it made me felt much better.

One of my ex primary school classmate passed away recently due to an asthma attack. His elder brother was in my sister’s class too then. It was a shock to hear the news and see the obituary since he just started his life as a freshman. Another fleeting reminder of our part as transient guests in this lifetime.

It feels a bit weird to think that one of my peers have already moved on. Without Christ.

The A’level peeps started their first paper on Tuesday. We had our last round of sharing and prayer session on Sunday. I got each of them to take out their worries, place it high above them, and let God replace it with peace. I think it is good to let them their burdens to the Lord and leave it there.

I haven’t talked to my two buddies in London for more than 2 weeks already. Been too busy to think much about anything else. Been fighting temptations of the flesh in the last two weeks. This gets especially acute when the more I try to focus, the more I’m aware of the distractions around me; which ended up in me fasting the whole day yesterday to regain a clarity of mind.

The family is going to Hanoi in December! It will be right after Anntic, the VCF annual Christian Teaching Camp. That will be like my fourth time in the space of a year going to Vietnam. And I’m sure it will revoke firm and fond memories of my times with Song and Chao over there. We’re going Halong Bay too. The scene of a most masterful violin performance by Song where one man played as two.

Cheryl and I led the cg in the bible study for Jeremiah yesterday. The passage that we studied was Jer 2:1-19. We had a good discussion on why Israel had forsaken God after what He had done for them – leading them out of the dessert, protecting them against their enemies. Why is it so easy to forget, and what we as individuals are perhaps culpable of too. But thank God that even though we can never be perfect so that we never sin, we can make ourselves more sensitive to sin so that at the very least, we recognise the signs when we are drifting away, so that we can correct our course.

1 To you, O LORD, I lift up my soul;

2 in you I trust, O my God.
       Do not let me be put to shame,
       nor let my enemies triumph over me.

3 No one whose hope is in you
       will ever be put to shame,
       but they will be put to shame
       who are treacherous without excuse.

4 Show me your ways, O LORD,
       teach me your paths;

5 guide me in your truth and teach me,
       for you are God my Savior,
       and my hope is in you all day long.

6 Remember, O LORD, your great mercy and love,
       for they are from of old.

7 Remember not the sins of my youth
       and my rebellious ways;
       according to your love remember me,
       for you are good, O LORD.

8 Good and upright is the LORD;
       therefore he instructs sinners in his ways.

9 He guides the humble in what is right
       and teaches them his way.

10 All the ways of the LORD are loving and faithful
       for those who keep the demands of his covenant.

11 For the sake of your name, O LORD,
       forgive my iniquity, though it is great.

12 Who, then, is the man that fears the LORD ?
       He will instruct him in the way chosen for him.

13 He will spend his days in prosperity,
       and his descendants will inherit the land.

14 The LORD confides in those who fear him;
       he makes his covenant known to them.

15 My eyes are ever on the LORD,
       for only he will release my feet from the snare.

16 Turn to me and be gracious to me,
       for I am lonely and afflicted.

17 The troubles of my heart have multiplied;
       free me from my anguish.

18 Look upon my affliction and my distress
       and take away all my sins.

19 See how my enemies have increased
       and how fiercely they hate me!

20 Guard my life and rescue me;
       let me not be put to shame,
       for I take refuge in you.

21 May integrity and uprightness protect me,
       because my hope is in you.

22 Redeem Israel, O God,
       from all their troubles!

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I’ve settled in better than expected. The pressures are there, but at end of the day, I’ve learnt to dedicate all glory to God regardless of the outcome.

Central Forum.

Blogging from Central Forum where there is this “Green Carnival” thing going on. There was a singing competition and some of the contestants sang their chinese songs quite well. I made it past 2 hours each of sociology and vietnamese tutorials today. Just want to rest and consolidate my thoughts.

Sitting down here on the steps of the forum and seeing people moving around made me realised how I haven’t properly sat down by myself and just relaxed for quite some time. Danielle was sitting at the forum and we chatted about work and laughed at her dress sense today for a while. : )

I shall promise myself that after the end of my exams, I give myself some time-out to sit down at a cafe of my choice and properly enjoy my book while watching people move and engage in their business, and be content with the fact that I’m finally living life at my own time and pace.

Shelter and Grace.

I ended my day with a lonely double mushroom swiss burger at Wheellock’s burger king. JLPT 3 prep course started today and there were only 6 out of 9 people in this class. Leon San, Eng San and Edwin weren’t around today. The class went into ‘extra time’ as usual, making it 3 hours and 20 minutes. It is no joke going through 50 grammar structures and 40 adverbs in such a sitting.

Inevitably, I was super stoned after the lessons. Prisellia San caught me as I was walking out of the Lido building and I didn’t even notice her waving at me. A lot of thoughts were running through my mind after the lesson, not least about the upcoming exams.

But today felt really different. As in I felt really really tired right now, but I don’t feel down and out. Which is like so amazing considering that after such an absolutely enervating day when I understood perhaps only 65% of the lesson max. Perhaps it was the way I started my day that gave me so much strength to see through the rest of the hours.

I woke up early today, did QT and started my day off at 9am with the prayer group for Arts VCF. There was Liz, Joanna, Daniel, ‘Chi Kun’ and me. We gave thanks for each other and we prayed for strength to see through this exam season among many things.

After which I had my Vietnamese tutorial and then lunched with Shu Han, Jade and their friend before heading to Gleneagles for my once a year appointment.

I love the interior of ‘ophthalmologist consultants’. It is very cosy. And I got to see Dr Pauline Cheong again. She has such a thick file on me now. Apparently I’m losing a bit of my 3D vision. Haha. I better go and catch one of those 3D shows before I lose it completely….

Anyway, after that, I mugged (and napped) Japanese for a while at Wisma’s Starbucks before going for my JLPT prep course. Thank God I have no school tomorrow. So I’m going to give myself a good hot shower now, give praise to the Lord, take a good nap, wake up fresh for another day of work. Kamikaze till the finals. For His Glory.

Hebrews 12 has been very touching and inspiring. And perhaps one of the reasons I’m typing this with a sane mind after such an enervating day.

Fellowship Teachings & The Remains of the Day.

I went for my first FT (Fellowship Teachings) today. This is a once a month event where VCFers of all faculties will congregate together to listen to an eternal speaker. I was able to attend because my tuition kids had their entrance exams today, so lessons were postponed.

Today’s speaker is a certain Dr Chua Hao Chuang from OMF. He is a full-time missionary serving with his Japanese wife in Japan. He gave what I think was one of the most enriching lectures on ‘Holistic Mission’ that I’ve heard this year.

Salvation is by faith alone. True salvation is evidenced by deeds. In short, his point is that without social action, the good news is hardly credible. Without the good news, social action becomes merely humanistic.

How about offering yourself to somebody for a day who cannot pay back? Preach the gospel. When necessary, use words.

A part of his teachings today taught me the need to ask for grace and wisdom to know our season, to balance the tensions that I face in my life from school and my faith. I guess it is summed up quite succinctly when he said that we yearn not to be a student who is a christian, but a christian who is a student. 

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Last Sunday was pretty well-spent. I had a difficult translation in service which God brought me through. I was translating for the teacher of my Sunday school teacher who is a Reverend. Haha… Dean of Chinese theology at SBC. God has been giving me more challenging tasks lately, and I feel that each time I go through it, I emerged even stronger in my faith in God and also confidence on my abilities.

The message was also very good. It reminded me why I have to continue to arm myself with theological knowledge. Three good messages in the space of a week is rarer than seeing a blue moon. : ) Which makes me feel quite excited about the AnnTic camp this December, when like-minded schoolmates and I congregate together to unravel the mysteries of the bible with the help of a fantastic speaker. : )

Then it was back to PGP in the evening with Thang helping me in my preparation for major Vietnamese Test on Monday. His unselfishness touched me a lot. I hope I did everybody who helped me justice in the test.

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I watched Lust|Caution last Saturday. I understood why the show was censored – the NC16 version was pretty intense already. The show was pretty good though. I love the storyline and the great acting. Sometimes you really say more by saying less.

My friend and I bought the tickets at the wrong timing although we were both pretty sure we both CILCKED on the right timing on the touch-screen (and we only discovered half-way through our dinner); climbed a few stories before finding the car in the carpark (reminded me of the ’accidents’ that will happen when I’m with Disong).

That said, I also haven’t really so totally relaxed and enjoyed in such a while ever since both Disong and Weichao left for London. This is a feeling I can get used to.

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It is about slightly less than two months to the start of exams, and there are posters around PGP reminding the occupants to keep watch of the ’silent hours’ timings so that people can study for their exams. I think if I stay in hall, I would never get the same type of environment. Timely reminder.

Time to exercise some self-discipline in the build-up to the exams now. Officially banned myself from Saturday night soccer, ’soccernet’ and a host of computer/internet related activities. I have some history that I need to make right, and I’m prepared to make the sacrifices to achieve them.

Like what dad said to me recently, if you think you are not the smartest around, you got to work doubly hard to make up.