Flexibility to the will of God.

“Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”

-Matthew 11:29

Unconditional love is so hard to accept sometimes. To sum things up, I walked out of my first paper today wondering whether I could ever live the way I felt God wanted me to live. To study so hard and feel so lousy after the paper. I’m feeling a mounting resistance to God’s spirit. Talking to GK on the way home although she was trying to be encouraging, somehow made me felt worse instead. Compounded to that my mom and my sis asked me how did I do and I didn’t know how to reply. All it took was an examination to make me feel so wasted. And the rest isn’t over yet.

The tensions during examination period can make you feel weaker than normal and more susceptible to sin, especially with supremely lousy thoughts about myself. Di Song said my last week’s worth of events probably took subconscious toil.

“His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.’

-1Peter 1:3

I took some time out to pray, and to reflect on the verses that my friends have sent me and encouraged me. Praying for my friends who are taking their exams, giving thanks to the Lord for seeing us through today, and asking the God to turn my disappointments into a sacrifices which can be used to display His glory all helped to prevent me from turning inwardly and close myself up to the great glory that God is displaying in my environment, which I couldn’t see because I blind myself to it.

I’m leaving many things left unsaid, but I like to end by saying that amidst all these struggling thoughts, I still firmly believe there can be no other more awesome being for me to leave my burdens and essentially, my whole life with. And I pray that too God continues to break me down and humble me so that I can be used greatly by Him.

Love Tempers.

Today’s sermon by Preacher Tan Hock Sim on 1 Corinthians 8:1-13 touched on tempering knowledge with love. Knowledge and wisdom is useless without love. Especially with regards to equipping the spiritually weaker brothers and sisters-in-christ. There is a lot of wisdom on freedom, knowledge and how love tempers all that needs space and time to reflect on. I pray that my fellow brothers and sisters are reflecting on this message too.

Quite nervous and exciting for the upcoming exams. : ) All the best to our best! There are lots to update, but see you readers after the exams are over on 7th May for me.

“Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,” says the Lord Almighty.

-Zechariah 4:6

Open Door, Open Arms.

I seldom see the sofas so crowded without a space for myself. : ) Nice to see all of us together even though it is in the middle of my examination period. Welcome back Jie: )

Min Min fractured her collar-bone playing contact, which was exactly the same injury that I got when I was playing. Would be keeping her in prayer.

Duong will be in Singapore leading a tour group from Vietnam from 2nd to 5th of May. Krongchit will be around in town too. And Jie will be leaving on the 5th of May. Need to study and need to make time. Thankfully I did not schedule tuition for the incoming week.

Press on!!

Trust and Tarry no more.

Revision has been fruitful thus far only for Singapore Society. But I shall continue to remember that it takes effort to turn disappointments into sacrifices. Recent happenings have also affected me in ways that are quite unexpected. I feel pain too in my own ways. But yet, am thankful of this consciousness that have developed which reminds me to turn back to God in supplication and thanksgiving.

A need to be broken down by God has suddenly become so urgent in view of recent developments. Trust and tarry no more.

Some recent events:

There is a longing only You can fill, a raging tempest only You can still.

Lately, I have been thinking about this set of values that I came up which I like to see in my future spouse, and I want to update it, because God has refined it in the period of 12 months since I last wrote it. Value (2) has been modified, and values sixth to eighth are new ones.

That said, we do not keep an eye open for people, but just to serve God wholeheartedly and leave things to him, and pray that He will touch us and put a burden in us with the right people in His own good time. The list is just so that I can let God continue to refine it, and appreciate such a character when she appears. : )

1) Values God: She has to be a Christian who values the love and power of God in every facet of her life. This quality very much says a lot of things.

2) Knowledgeable and Expansive: I need someone who can connect with me spiritually and intellectually. Someone who I can be just being myself; a work always in progress.

3) Honesty: I don’t mind a person with past emotional baggage. What is important is for the woman to want to walk in the light of Jesus. “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” – John 8:12

4) Love herself: She must know how to love herself as God has love her. She has to honour herself and know where her physical boundaries lie. Strong bonds with her family will be important and appreciated.

5) Character: An original, humourous and independent character is highly regarded. Relationships need many doses of humour, originality helps to create a distinctive character, and independence means that we give each other “space in togetherness.”

6) Effective Servants in Christ: Being in a relationship should enhance both of our abilities to serve God together, and not diminish it because we have to spend time ‘maintaining’ the relationship.

7) Passion: A passion for the work/study that God has called Him or Her into.

Courage: Someone who always encourage and support me in doing the right things, even if it means that I have to be different from what the world tells me. She is inspirational by virtue of the fact that I want to refine myself so that I can be the best tool for God to use, and a complete partner for her.

Search Results.

WordPress has this neat function which shows the search terms that people type in the various search engines and reached my blog. I have people looking for ‘Dr Pauline Cheong, Gleneagles”, “Weichao”, “Grace Koh VCF” and the latest, “Shen Kiat IFG”. I was a bit pleasantly bemused by the last term. : )  I wonder who in the world will want to associate me with IFG. I hope this meant that I must have been doing something good in my cgs’ education drive. : )

I love mrbeasley. But maybe it is time to move on eventually too. : ) Anyway, Happy Birthday Jie!! Quarter of a century. *grinz. Cya next week! Exam prep week but let’s do something together. : )

Send Me Lord.

主告訴我如何献上我的生命 帶希望入人群中
主告訴我如何付出我的关怀 將温暖帶入世界
我看到灵魂中的忧伤 孤独中人的心在角落颤抖
差遣我 差遣我 我原付出我所有
差遣我到需要祢的人群中
充满我 充满我 用你爱来充满我
再一次紧握他们的手

这是我心中的祷告…

Everything I have is Yours.

Today has been supremely good day. It was a good time of recharging during our last cg of the semester, a good time of worshipping led by Nicole and me, followed by a treat by our fantastic CGL again in Nicole at Munchie Monkeys which sells delicious vanilla ice-cream and hot chocolate fudge cakes and chicken primevera spaghetti. Dawn, Lai Peng, Joy Clement and I were around. Nearly full attendance minus Michelle only. : ) Had a good time of sharings and writing blessings for each other. I feel absolutely loved, and I think they feel that too. My evil twin Joy revealed that when she first saw me, she was wondering who is this noisy guy and she thought she don’t want to be friends with me; but now she thanks God everytime for me. : ) Glad that among my heavy suaning, I must be doing something right during those times when I’m supposed to be serious at least. : )

Got something from GK too! It was this tagboard type of thing that was very sweetly done. My cg people were so curious about it! They thought it was from a “special one”. But I have to admit GK has been a blessing in many ways this year, and I’m really blessed to have seen more than others and be encouraged by the few people I really considered to be nearly there already, or at least on the right path – true women and men of God. So thanks GK for your friendship. : )

I saw Weiting today too. She finally passed me a card that she wrote for me the week before, which I didn’t get it because I wasn’t punctual enough. It was one of the most articulate, genuine and moving letters that I’ve received in my life. It has been long since somebody tells me I’ve been his or her answered prayer for a friend. And if you want me, of course I want you la! Lol! Jokes aside, I’m glad that the ways I’ve treated friendships have brought glory to the Lord, and I hope that I can continue to learn and grow with the friends, new and old around me.

Ended the day with a long talk with Yiwen in Becky’s room after CG. Saw my Totoro Card hanging above her desk! *grin. Was doing my tutorial as I waited for Yiwen, Sarah and Becky (who is the epitome of coolness with her guitar skills: potential suitors can either go brush up their guitar skills or demonstrate other talents. Becky is a smart girl too! So beware!) practicing for the worship session for Fellowship Teachings (FTs) tomorrow at Science. Becky went off to meet her friends at supersnacks while Sarah went back to her room with Becks. Had a long sharing with Yiwen about some issues that are close to my heart and hear her back in return. We talked for so long that Becky had enough time to come back and joined us for the latter part of our conversation. The 3 of us ended the conversations by quieting our hearts and prayed while I was touched to close for us. I got to learn again on a higher level what does it mean to share in weal and woe with my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.

I shall end with this verse that Joy wrote in my blessing card: “Enlarge the place of your tent, stretch your tent curtains wide, do not hold back; lengthen your cords, strengthen your stakes.” – Isaiah 54:2.

团契是家

我们都有属于自己的家
虽然不是最理想
却是我们生活成长的地方
不要恋爱别人的月亮

我们都有属于自己的家
虽然不是最理想
却是我们归回安息的地方
要用爱去建立我们的家

这里是我们生活成长的地方
这里有我们年轻的理想
有我们的家我们的朋友
给我们欢笑的地方
虽然有眼泪
但这里是我们的家

.

Church today was one of renewal. It was good to see all the children again after being absent last week because of the Gcube Retreat, and to sit beside Weijie and Xiwen during service, and eat otar and prata in church with Weijie, Diwei, Min Min, Francine and talk to others. I love the feeling of home.

Xiwen, Weijie and Min Min at separate moments asked me how was the dinner with Jianhui the previous day. Heh. I’m writing this down so you know JH! How everyone misses you even when they are having fun.

Hui Cheng laoshi left for Melbourne today. Before she left, we had a good talk and a good hug too! I got a good hug from Min Min too, the ones that make you feel so loved and want to hold on. People like them gives me a sort of strength that no amount of logic and reasoning and will-power can ever provide. : )

Two more weeks to the exams. I must jiayou again for the last lap.

Photo Log.

Happy 22nd Safri aka Abang. : ) Your one of the better things to have come out of my JC life! God Bless! Or Allah as you like it. *grinz. Pray you survive on less sticks each day.

‘Saving Grace’ at UCC With Elroy and Adrian, my good but neglected buddies… I hope the exams finish soon so I can make up to them for the time that I’ve spent on serving & school. & waiting for Zihao to be back too and complete the Fab Four.

I like the way Jo screws up her face as she talks to God. It is so childlike that the stressed up me was put at ease as I hear her pray. : )

Probably one of the prettiest but yet photo shy friends that I have. : ) Thanks for the lunch and the prayers! Thank God we have time to fellowship until September at the very least.! : )