the fragrance of the mainland air.

My PGP hostel application got rejected. This is especially bad because I planned the next semester on the guarantees that I’ll be able to get a place at PGP as a freshman. I didn’t know hostel stays have suddenly gotten so popular. Oh dear. I really need to approach a new mindset towards my modules planning since appeals are only are school starts. A thought hit me though. I didn’t really pray for it to happen so yea. Ah! I must jiayou.

There were a few beautiful evenings for the last few days. This shot was taken along the TPE/SLE to CTE expressway. One of the things that I lament as a driver is that I don’t get more chances to observe the skies and the surroundings. Oh well. I thank God that I did not miss the good ones this week.

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‘I love the air of the mainland’, said Weiren. ‘I emo quite a lot when I feel the sea breeze and smell the air while looking at the beautifully lit sky, till I look back and see my bunk’.

He came out yesterday. Although I had a super packed day yesterday, I wanted to get an exclusive on how Weiren has changed since he came out of army. The following is a picture exclusive.

Di song and I gave him a rousing welcome at the bottom of his void deck. He has turned darker and looks healthier! Although he really really looks funny without his usual crown of hair. It was really gladdening to see him before I go for my scuba-diving trip later today.

Well. After picking Weiren and his two brothers, we went to our second most important destination, ‘KK Hospital’ to pick our dearest Xueying up. And then it was another round of rousing of welcome between the two lovers, right inside the waiting bay of the hospital.

We had supper along Upper Thomson Road. After our supper we had another round of desserts. It was really good to hear the stories from Weiren, which got Di Song and I laughing the most and nodding in acknowledgement. But the most important fact that I’ve got from that supper is that Weiren is fine and he is surviving well. Give thanks!

Last but not least, this is our group photo! Look at the accentuation of Weiren’s glossy black rimmed spectacles and the way he stands, with the impeccable grace of an army boy. Have to leave for my dive trip now. Cya guys when I’m back on Sunday midnight.

Hope things be safe. And I get more chances to sort out the thoughts for my buddy and me, and the up-coming events in July! Carpe Diem.

God is good. *beams

the soulmate.

Adeline and I debated about relationships and singlehood today amidst our other conversations about travels to Japan and Europe. She said it takes away something from a person in love, but I replied that it is not a zero-sum game: loving actually enhances the person’s overall character. It was interesting to note that our friends (the super intelligent ones) are still single mostly due to the refusal to commit. I briefly recalled M.M Lee recently making this statement about the “best intelligent women of Singapore are unmarried and that is a worrying trend”.

But our friends are really eligible (in terms of wit, perspectives and character). Oh well. The content of the discussion is not meant to be blog here. =)

天冷就回来，别在风中徘徊.

One could not count the moons that shimmer on her roofs,

Or the thousand splendid suns that hide behind her walls.

I met up with Y.H today. It is amazing how much army can change a person, to drive a person along the road to success. But I fear for him the same fears that I have for many others who went down the same path, that the dreams and hopes that he holds in his hands are at best ephemeral. I hope he comes for “Lost and Found” concert and let it help him find what he is really looking for.

I caught “The Train” with two old friends on Sunday at the Esplanade. It was quite a delightful show, and being the first mime that I watched in my life. I love the part where the old magician conjured up snow flakes for the two homeless children to lighten up one of the most despondent moments of the otherwise light-hearted show…

I’ve finally finished Khaled Hosseini’s “A Thousand Splendid Suns”. It was a breathtaking read. Perhaps the threshold of how much sufferings we can handle is infinite when measured to the love that is sustaining us. What a wonderful lesson.

Realised I haven’t write about the church camp yet. Oh well. There are many things to do and look forward to in the next few months, not lest the brand new start of university life. But before that, there are some readings and homework to catch up.

May as well, for me to catch up on my thoughts before it leaves me far behind.

finding memories.

After sending out postcards and mail packages to other people, it is nice to receive one from Miwa today! It has been more than a month since she left, and my whole family missed her so much. She posted it when she was still in Paris, so she must be somewhere in Spain or Ireland now. Her card is so sweet. Heh! You will be one of my advisers when I go to Europe next year yeah. =)

Some more pictures from Gabriel’s camera. =)

Enduring Times.

Time moves differently for people at different times. Even though people cannot be there for us all the time, it does not mean that they do not want to be there. We have to understand time flies past faster for some people, and before you know it, a day is over already. Time is moving a lot quickly now since I’ve started school, but I do not want to move too quickly, lest I miss out on the growth of my dearest friends and loved ones. I don’t want to dash through time so quickly and realise that I’ve forgotten some of them and left them behind.

Ian McKellen mentioned something in the newspaper interview that we all have the wish to be part of something enduring. To him, it would be the potential to help inspire the next Shakespeare regardless of his/her nationality. He recalled that the young William may just be inspired by Snr Shakespeare when he watched his daddy pay the artistes who came in everyday to perform at the theatre. I made me wonder what type of enduring moments do I want to be part of, and reflect on the potential enduring plans that God has for me.

Intellectual discourse cannot be an end to itself. With intellectual discourse comes the build-up of pride, which obscures our ability to see and feel beyond our intellectual limitations. It comes to a point where one has to take faith and make the bridge between the divide of intellectual discourse and real time experience.

Weiren gave me a call after my tuition just now. Am glad that he is fine and surviving the experience. Thank God for blessing him with a Christian buddy too, the only one in his section.

Ah. I thank God for the enduring peace that He promised me during this period of reflections and readjustment. Now that to tackle the issues that I promise to set aside till after my exams.

That look upon your face. I wish I could have the chance to show you how much I have grown.

He is the Reason I live.

Pei Ni’s encouragements, Huishan’s mini-card and sms, Jianni’s regards, and of course the “mini dinner” from Min Min, Weijie, Huishan and Yueting, Yeeheng’s msg and phone call, my dearest buddy and everybody’s prayers, have deeply touched me to seize the day tomorrow.

Ah! My first university exam. And it has set my heart racing.

Weiren’s Enlistment

 

Time flies as Weiren’s enlistment day finally came. The night before, we had a fantastic steamboat dinner together with Xueying and the rest of the Wong family. I guess enough has been said, so I will just let the pictures tell the story. I never thought I will say this… But I’m going to miss my cell buddy even though I was quite apprehensive of him at the beginning of the year. Vietnam was really the turning point for the both of us! So jiayou Weiren and come back a much much stronger person. My prayers are with you.

Going back to Tekong and seeing all the facilities brought back my own memories of the place. It was a little bit of reminiscing. The army period was really a good learning curve, even though I don’t talk much about this period of time. In fact, reminiscing got a little bit too much today.

God sometimes acts in the funniest way possible, and I don’t understand.

Gabriel’s 21st Jamboree.

 There are other things that I want to blog about, but how can I not give Gabriel’s Jamboree an entry by itself? =) Am so happy to see Gab finally turning 21. It was a fun and close affair with Gab’s friends from his primary, secondary, junior college and NUS medicine friends. It felt great to finally be able to give a face and a voice to the names that he had mentioned to me or what I have read through his blog; people who have affected his life in one way or another, and made him into the wonderful buddy that he is to me today.

The chocolate spread was simply amazing. I was spoilt for choices. So I tried a little bit of everything. I especially like the part where you can choose the type of chocolate that you want and the chef lady will melt it for you into a chocolate drink

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The theme of the party was plush toy! I brought the cheeky looking monkey that I really liked a lot. Not withstanding the fact that this will be the first and last time I’m waving my soft toy inside Fullerton, it was really interesting to see the plush toys that accompany the rest to their bed, which included the usuals like Winnie the Pooh characters and Elmo to Polar Bears and a Duck! It was a pity that the “duck” owner didn’t win the best plush toy award. I really grown fond of that soft toy in quite a short time.

I made firm friends with Gab sister. She is really lovable, and I can see why Gab dotes on her, despite the occasional bullying! Nanyang or RGS? Make your choice. Heh. I wondered about the feeling of seeing close ones arriving at a crossroad needing to make important life decisions that you have made once before. It is exciting yet anxious isn’t it knowing what lies ahead of them with each choice they make.

I think it was great for all of us to meet each other. Especially I caught up with two friends too… The friendship circle is quite small actually though I have to admit this time round, there are so many people that I’ve haven’t met in my life. I had people coming up to me telling me that “oh! your are the ‘Xianjie’ on Gab’s blog which he talked so fondly about”. Haha… For others, it was great for them to clarify that ‘Xianjie’ is not a girl actually… Gosh! And Gabriel has such loyal friends like Kristy and Wenhui who acted as his offical camera people throughout the entire party. Am really really glad for him.

Youbin and I are considered the ‘gentiles’ as we did not belong to any of the cliques, which is well, a testimony to the level of our friendship which developed away from the school and cca type of environment. Maybe that is why personally for me, it was very interesting to see the rest of the people that made up Gab’s life. Heh. Really really got to know him so much better. I’m not good at remembering names, but there was a few like Wenhui, Wanzhen and Kristy who asked me questions like how did I get to know Gab, and what am I taking in university and what I’m going to do with it. This type of questions impresses me because I ask the same type of questions too! Purely because you really can get to know the other person better with this questions because it sort of briefly identifies whether they have a life purpose. =)

Anyway, I hope Gabriel help me say thanks to his friends too who made me feel welcome through self-intros without me taking initiatives! You know who you are! Those who asked me how I knew Gab and who I related the ‘plaster story’ to. Haha!

 I think having a chocolate buffet is really in appropiate given Gab’s fondness for good desserts, which is probably one of the great things in our friendship. The little man himself has to drink a little bit of champagne so that he can give his speech. He said something very moving that night. It went something along the lines like “I had a very hard time coming up with this list… All of you are here because you have played an important part in my life, and I love all of you”. I guess for him, his vindication not to go overseas is so that he can share and continue to create these memories with his friends here. And I think he felt the full vindication of it on his jamboree.

Haha. You are loved too Gab.

I think I further my next knowledge of Gabriel for the next two years just by being present at this party. Haha! Hanging out with his favoured clique has certain privileges I guessed. Oh well!

I think seeing Gab and his friends have firmed up my decision to hold something for my close ones too before my birthday. I guess I want my other friends to know each other too, and also as a form of recognition for the indelible influence each of them has on my life.

Last but not least, this entry has to end with our picture. I want to congrats my pal on reaching his 21st. I pray that he will become a great doctor next time, and he will continue to use his talents for the good of the people. =) Remember that the Lord determine your steps! I guess as much as you believed I have touched you, you too have made an indelible impression in my life. That is even more amazing considering the fact that we have not known each other through the so called important formative periods of life like secondary school, jc or even cca.

And you know what Gabriel? This is just the start. God bless and peace my seasoned and loyal friend. I hope I have been one to you as much as you have been to me. Amen!

To the Virgins, to Make Much of Time.

I want to write about Gabriel’s Jamboree but unfortunately, imagestation is currently experiencing problems right now. So I will save that entry for another time when I’m having a break between my studies. Sister may not have realised, but I brought the monkey that she gave me for my birthday many years ago to fulfil the “plush toy” theme at the party. It is really my favourite plush toy, even though it was not a prize winner at the party. *grinz

After Gabriel’s jamboree I went to join my cell group (Huishan, Zixin, Winchester, Grace, Xuewei, Dijie, Weiren) at Yongzhen’s elder sister’s house. It was great fun as we had a movie marathon. One of the movies that we caught was “Dead Poets Society” which I brought. Watching it again brought back certain memories of the great verses from Thoreau and Frost who had affected my life in one way or another… And to see Huishan, Grace and Dijie (the rest had already concussed) appreciating the show as a new generation made me hope that the show would inspire them to avoid living a life of quiet desperation, as it had for me.

I remembered Huishan told me this week that she wanted to do work involving children. I hope she will follow that path, but yet not neglect the importance of a good university education. Having a life purpose is great! Now is the time to refine our process towards it. =)

I left at about 6am in the morning while the rest slept on. Had breakfast with Winchester befoe driving him to his workplace. As we were drinking teh tarik and eating our noodles, I suddenly felt like we were two old men! He spoke quite a bit that day as we touched on his passion for cooking. It was a quietly enjoyable conversation.

Am glad Jianhui is back. Super glad that she had a fun trip. Sort of missing her! With my exams coming this Saturday and church camp next week, there is like practically no time to catch up with many people till these events are over. Then July, August and September will be creeping nearer. And there will be another round of special events before some of my good friends will be leaving one by one for their undergrad studies overseas..

There are many things to look forward to and yet dread at the same time. But I guess we can only Carpe Diem till those moments arrive, and without fail, we will survive them once again, like how we have survived those before us.

storms that brightens the spikes of the stars.

I love my cello, the way it responses to my touch through the lucid weaving of my bow; I believe it loves me too. Oh how I wish I can be a better complement to this beauty of mine. A better bow you deserve to coax the unplayable sounds out of you. I believe I’m finally beyond the steep curve of my cello education and have arrived at the gentler slopes that stretches far into the sky. You would be proud of me.

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Sometimes there are events and happennings in my life that I feel should be going well and aren’t, and I blamed it on the lack of involvement from God. But then again, when I searched my heart honestly, I realised I don’t behave like I’ve put these things as top priority. Therefore how can I expect God to want to do the same for me? It looks like these things are on the top pile of my priorities, but the fact is I’ve haven’t done enough to make these seem top priorities.

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A nun, Mother Angelica writes in her book “Mother Angelica’s Little Book of Life Lessons and Everyday Spirituality” :

“As I look back, pain was always a preparation for me. The Lord allowed pain before accomplishing anything He asked me to do. It made me more aware of my own weaknesses, my own faults, my own incompetence, my own lack of knowledge… it made me appreciate the fact that God must do everything.”

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I give thanks to the Lord for blessing my daddy with good health on his 56th Birthday. Thank you Lord for seeing me through 3 consecutive weeks of serving. Give thanks for bringing Min Min and Hongwei back from Tioman safe and sound. Give thanks for the prayer warriors that helps me to march on. Give thanks for the good grade for the interim report.

Thank you Lord, for wanting to develop a relationship with me.